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Wednesday, August 6, 2008

This post is titled = Beijing in your bedroom! "Gold medal positions"

Warning : The following content are not suitable for children under the age of 13. One shall not see this during work, school or at any public areas. Be open minded and let me teach you how its done in bed...the Olympic way of sex!

okay so when ur done reading the warning note.. i shall begin my lesson..what your about to see..might corrupt ur if u think u wanna stay "clean"..pls move away from this page..NOW!

The Beijing Olympics are jus 2 days'll start on the super "ONG" day of 08-08-08..
and i think.. plenty of sex is gonna happen that night..cus got plenty of newlyweds what!

The chinese thinks 8 as a very auspicious date.. hmmm.. maybe true i dunno.. but sex is always good! *wink* whether ur married or not..

but like i mention before people..always use a what??

a what??

yes!! CONDOM!!! play safe la pls..if u guys dun have condoms i got u know..i can give u..i got plenty..dun ask why..but "someone" gave me a box of condoms for my bday..CB him!
expire next year if u guys wan..dun be shy ask me..dun have to go 7-11 ask me k!
someone have to help me finish em..cus i wont use em! :(

ok..let's get SERIOUS!!

as some of u may already know..i went to Australia last month..and we spent quite some time over there..
and my mum..loves to read female magazines..u know like CLEO and FEMALE...
*tsk..i also read wan u know..damn educational wan le.can learn so much bout woman! haha*

so she bought the Australian version of CLEO to read...

Cleo Australia July 2008 issue.. and yes..that's Nicole Richie on the front cover..she's still damn skinny..but hey..congrats..she got married! yay!

and if u guys see closer..on the top right of the book..there's a sentence which says.."Beijing in your bedroom"

wow..when i saw that..i straight away took the book from my mum..and started looking for the contents..

and the reason why i'm sharing the contents with u all is not jus bcus the olympics is comin..but cus i wanna "educate" my readers... yes..and help spread the message of "safe sex"!

so the introduction page looks like this..

hehe..the intro already makes me feel excited!! aren't you??
yup like what they always say..go for GOLD!!! 1st base 2nd base 3rd base..and its a HOMERUN!!

ok ah..before u see the pictures of these extra ordinary sex postions..make sure u are in a right place and at a right age and have a dirty mind.. =D

let's kick off the Bed Olympics now!

the OPENING ceremony...let the fireworks begin and sparks fly..
this is definately one of the easiest and most pleasurable positions..that's why cpls shud always start of like this..something simple like at the start means we can slowly escalade to the climax!
no need to rush.. u got plenty of time in bed.. =D explore other "harder" positions later on.

difficulty level = 1 /10

oh..and for ur info.. u see the medal thing on the top left corner of the pic..that's a Gold medal..
and its awarded fot this position..

these are the definitions of the medals..

Gold = Guanrateed to attract fans. Cue the national anthem!

Silver = Super -sexy. But does require some (or a lot) of athleticism.

Bronze = Sensual lovin' , slow and steady wins the race.

these are the defitions given by the magazine. not me ok! what's next after the opening ceremony..
let's get straight to some action!

The Pole Vault!

oh ya.. can u see why they call this position the pole vault?.. haha..imagine..
this is a bronze medal position..

and here's a lil tip of how to exacute this position perfectly = have the men against the wall..
carefully place ur legs on his chest..and guys..make sure u grab the girls ass she needs allt he support to maintain this position..

difficulty level = 7 /10

and lets go over to the swiming events..

first up..

The Backstroke!
gold medal position.

the backstroke is one of the hardest discipline in swimming..but in the bed..its easy..
this one doesn't require a bed.. all the girl need to do is jus stand up straight..and reach for ur toes..then the guys can enter from behind..
slowly the man can build up speed and when ur comfortable..take it to the next lvl.
perfect for cpls who like ass-fuck!

difficulty level = 3 /10

The Synchronised Swimming!
silver medal position.

alright..the synchronised swimming event needs really good the bed..both man and female must work togther to bring out the best of each other.
this position requires a lil prop...a chair to be exact..
the guys jus need to sit on the chair and let the girl do the rest of the work..alright..sounds a lil unfair..but hey..rmb..teamwork my frens..teamwork!
rmb go as hard as possible..cus there's always the chair when he needs extra support.

difficulty level = 3 /10

The Breaststroke!
bronze medal position.

For those of you not quite into a vigourous sex session, try some slow and steady lovemaking, otherwise known as the breaststroke.
this position is benefits the guy more than the girl..
because the girl is not facing the guys..the guys can touch u everywhere..and nothing will stop him i tell you.

Difficulty level = 1 /10

Ok..moving on from the swimming we have..positions that are especially for the ladies!

The Women's High Jump!
gold medal position.

hahaha..guys..i know this is one of your favs...why?
cus in this position...the guys doesn't have to do much..all he has to jus lay down and let the girl do the rest..
to me this is the "lazy man position" and old mens love this i tell you! like Dr Choi Lok Sek. our ex-health minister.

difficulty level = 2 / 10

The Women's Cycling and The Women's Kayaking!
both silver medal positions.

Women's cycling = Ride ur man as if ur cycling hard!! Now's he's the bike...ur the rider..ride as fast as u can..until u both get to the finish line!

difficulty level = 5 /10

Women's kayaking = the leader and climb aboard ur partner!

difficulty level = 3 /10

and now we got positions where the men is required to use lots of energy!

The Men's Hockey!
gold medal position.

Jus by looking at it some of u guys might already be planning to do this next time u have sex..
but keep in mind..this is a very physical sex position and is not advise to be attempted by noobies and guys which have no str to lift their partners..
this is a postion which really requires teamwork between u two..but with a lil bit of hard work..
the rewards will be well worth it.

difficulty level = 7 /10

The Men's Archery!
silver medal position.

another of mens fav positions..aka the "DOGGY STYLE"..hahahahaha..
no need any further explanation..i'm sure some of u are already quite experienced in this.

difficulty level = 3 /10

Now we are going into some positions which requires lots of stamina and strength from both men and women..

The Weight-Lifting and The Wrestling!
silver medal and gold medal positions.

The weight lifting = now this one is a bit tough..but if both are u are physically strong..dun be afraid to try. With a lil technique and practice..this one sure will spice up things. =D

difficulty level = 5 /10

The wrestling = This is a fun one..jus get started by lying on the floor and face each start scuffling and ladies dun hold back..put up a fight..make it hard for the end u'll feel satisfaction like u'll never feel before.

difficulty level = 4 /10

The Taekwondo!
gold medal position.

yes ppl..ur eyes are fooling you..that can be done...its better if the women have a lil martial arts background or is a gymnst..
ladies..if u aren't confident with ur str and stability..dun try this..u might eventually break his cock from toppling this is what u call creative SEX!

difficulty level = 8/10

The Equestrian!
silver medal position.

something similar to the women's high jump..but this time u''ll palm ur partners hand and tuck ur feet under his if he's a horse and ur grinding it..
this requires more technique and stamina compared to the high jump.

difficulty level = 4 /10

The Hurdles!
silver medal position.

like the equestrian..this one is sort of similar to the weight-lifting..but much more easier..
the lady this time will have one of her feet on the ground..making it more stable.

difficulty level = 4 /10

finally we are almost at the end of our lesson..but we have one more position to go.

and i've save the best for the last!!

trust me ppl..u'll love this one..! hahaha..

i present u..

The Rhythmic Gymnastics!
gold medal position.

oh...jus looking at it makes u horny eh! hahahaha..
damn..when i first saw this...i was like imagining..if only i've kept my ex..who is a Selangor gymnst somemore..
wow..we've would have knock this out of the park! hahahaha..
oh well..too bad for me =(

difficulty level = 8 /10

to me i'm in love with this position! hahaha..dunno bout u guys..

ok..we're done with the lesson!
and if u guys have any comment or questions...pls write in the chatbox.. =D i will reply asap.

rmb..i'm here to help!!

hope this have educated u futher..and prepared u for what's to come in the BEIKING OLYMPICS! safe..use a condom..ask me if u need any..i'm here at ur service.. =D

before i go..let me wish our malaysian olympics team the best of luck..and bring us back some gold medals!


this post have been created to help ppl to spice up things in bed incase ur running out of idea..
nothing in this post was meant to hurt or offend people..if u are offended i'm sorry.
the stuff i wrote is mainly my own thoughts.nothing personal.
have fun applying it ! good luck!

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The MoMo
He's not a boy..not yet a man..he ain't please say yay! He's 18 in an area called Subang Jaya and studies Architecture at Taylors PJ. If u know me, dun be shy to say Hi when u see me. =D

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